A New Addition to the Family

Hey, welcome back to a peek into my life. Hope your Thanksgiving Holiday was litty and that you gained a few pounds. (If you didn't, then your're doing Thanksgiving all wrong.) Today's tale derives from one of the most epic trolling moments I have ever experienced on my social media. (Which in this digital-age,) is kinda a big deal. Not only did I make my entire book of faces (oouu...see what I did there?) think I was pregnant with child, but to take it a step further, I kept them guessing about the "babyfather" for weeks. LMAO! I mean....I'm a single woman, with a college education, no children, no debt, and a great paying job-- who the hell tryna trap me with kids out of the blue right now!? Right? RIGHT! I'm glad we can agree, even if it's subconsciously. (If sarcasm is not your thing....well, this blog will NOT be an easy read for ya.)

Now let's have YOU be the judge!

Read this status below.

Question:

Would you think I was pregnant after reading this?

Answer:

OF COURSE YOU WOULD! The Hashtag is the ultimate co-sign!

BUT......let us consider a few TROLLING 101 (well at least According to Frankie) things here first. If you read between the lines, then sure-- the assumption is that a baby is on the way. However, in my [own] defense, I never actually make mention of a pregnancy. Another factor to consider is this is a 9-week announcement. - isn't that too early? And of course by too early, I am referring to too early to determine the status and well-being of that baby. I don't know too many ladies that say anything before 3 months, which is 12 weeks. But hey, people still showed my trolling ass some love.

Friends, Family, and Followers were asking me questions left and right, and I never replied to a single comment. The following were some my top five inquiries from y'all nosey asses!

1. "Who's the dad?"

2. "How?"

3. Are you serious?

4. Aww....I'm so happy for you guys! When did this happen?

5. Finally, a little Frankie running around. (Not a question, but def still a hilariously funny thing to say to a "soon-to-be-mom.")

So here are the responses I never provided:

"Who's the dad?"

1. Ummmmmmm, first of all- this is my pu$$*. So if I failed to provide the identity of the father, perhaps it's for a reason. Maybe I got knocked up or have secret lover; maybe I visited a sperm bank (in the spirit of hypotheticals), the possibilities are endless- would you like it if I said any of the above? Perhaps not.

"How?"

2. Sorry, go back to middle school sex ed on this one {insert sarcastic sir/ mam], because if you have me tell it- babies still come from storks who work at "Baby Heaven."

"Are you serious?"

3. Yes, I am DEAD SERIOUS! What about exactly...just being a new mommy. Again, I never made claims to it being a human. Muahahaha.

"Aww....I'm so happy for you guys! When did this happen?"

4. Umm...whos YALL!? And ehem *clears throat* MAM, it [woulda] happened-- DUHHHHH......9 WEEKS AGO!!!

"Finally, a little Frankie running around."

5. When I'm ready to clone myself, (types as if I'll ever actually be ready to clone myself...as if) I'll be sure its a whole grown-ass woman; NOT a baby who has to start from zer0..

My phone was ringing off the hinges (though phones TOTALLY do not have have hinges, but it sounds cool). For someone who is constantly on their phone; my phone received the most text messages it has ever concurrently received in its life, and my DMs were crazy! Let me not forget to mention the real MVPs and day-ones (That's slang for your true friends) that were kinda on the edge of confusion rather than flabbergasted by my sudden news. This body of folks right here doubted me from the gate, and I truly loved them for that. It made me feel as if I had true friends that really know me. But nonetheless, the confusion ans suspense of it all were still the common themes.

Fast forward 2 weeks after that Facebook post and TA-DA! She's here! Meet my soon to be 4-month old Malshi Puppy, Glitter Rosso.

Finding the perfect name

Okay, so I had a few options here. I wanted to name her something representative of me but still with her own identity. Because Glitter is the exact carbon-copy of my last dog Prince, I was going to name her after him in his honor, as Princess. But after some thinking, I decided not to go with it because it's probably so common, and I wanted to start a new doggy-chapter. Naming her after him would have been perfect because they're twins, but it would directly contradict my reason for wanting to give her-- her own identity. Another name I had in mind was Bella, but then I though about it-- that's what I named my VAGINA. (Please tell me your privates have names...it's totally normal and super funny when used during adulterous activity.) Do I really want to name my pup after my reproductive organ's freaky alias? I think not. So I finally came down to two names: Snowflake or Glitter. I've always said I wanted 2 little dogs- one named Glitter and one named Sparkle. But because I was only getting one furry friend, I was unsure if I was going to follow-through with it. But after much thinking, Glitter was all along the perfect name. It's cute, girly, different, and named after one of my favorite RnB albums of all time.

Becoming a Doggy Mommy!

Because this was going to be my first time having a pet to call my very own, I was very nervous at first. I've had dogs before, but it was always our family dog and I split responsibilities with my siblings. But this, this was a venture with just me, myself, and I to care for this pup. I kept asking myself, "Will I have the time and patience to deal with a new puppy? Am I really doing this?" Taking care of a dog is a big responsibility and not to mention a pricey one. So prior to even owning this new "Dog-Mom" title, I had to face the reality of all that comes with the job. So many of my friends and family doubted me because I am such a busy-body. But I wanted to prove them and any other naysayers wrong. Since I do not have any children of my own, this is now my biggest and sole responsibility- to love and care for my new baby pup. (Yes, both!)

Puppy proofing Red Zone

If you've ever been to my studio condo home, you'll know that my style and home decor is very modern, yet rich in small details. Which basically means-- I've got stuff everywhere! Trinkets, awards, artwork, poetry notebooks, accent rugs, like A LOT of stuff! Before moving Glitter in, I had to make sure to get my home in tip top shape and order. So overnight I kinda became a minimalist and pro-organizer. (Shout out to the newly- parents who inspired the new lifestyle, Brendan and Burcin) I cleaned out every inch of my home, closet, drawers, cabinets, and bookshelves. Dude, I even scrubbed (yes, Cinderella hands and knees style) my tiles and walls. I threw out a total of eight 13-gallon bags of garbage in just useless stuff and two 13-gallon bag sizes of clothes donated. I felt so liberated! And it only took 24 hours! I cleaned every single nook and cranny, labeled and organized cubbies throughout my storage spaces, and even managed to clean the balcony.

Wanna know more about minimalism?

Check out my boy Brendan and his wife Burcin on

YouTube and follow their journey!

For tips on how to get organized, check out my girl Burcin!

She's an actual PROFESSIONAL ORGANIZER!

How freaking cool is that!?

The $$ Investment

So as I real as I keep it on #aFRankieTale blog, I will not share exactly how much Glitter cost me- but I will say that she was definitely an investment and a tremendous sacrifice. Buying her meant I had to forfeit from attending some trips, cutback on my leisure spending, refrain from going out just to save money, budget her monthly expenses, and calculate her average expenses for her shots, grooming, and registration. I don't know if that sounds like a whole lot to you, but TRUST ME...it is! I spent WEEKS making puppy preparing lists and getting quotes on goods and supplies online. I narrowed it down to two stores: Wal-Mart & PetSmart! And man, DID I FREAKIN SAVE! Thankfully, I only bought bare minimum essentials at Wal-Mart because the majority of my pertinent items came from PetSmart, where I purchased a puppy guide per the store clerk's recommendation, and SAVED $60 on $200 worth of puppy supplies! On top of the fact that I got a FREE grooming Appointment and rewards towards my purchases! Ohh, that could not have worked out any better! My baby has everything she needs and sooo many cute clothes, fun chew toys, yummy treats, and lifestyle accessories. She is definitely spoiled....but she sooo deserves it and is totally worth it!

Potty Training

This has to be the most cumbersome part of becoming a new pet parent. Not only do you have to figure out how to communicate to your pet in a language they do not speak, but you have to train them to control their bowels on schedule and in retrospect- on command. I bought a pack of puppy training pads and thought it was going to just be peachy- lay the pad and she'll do the rest. But BOY, OH BOY was I WRONGGGGGG!!!!! Potty training Glitter has been a real test of my patience and calming my nerves, because the reality is that puppies pee and sh*t wherever they perceive to be the "best spot." The trick is- in getting them to understand that they can still do that- OUTSIDE! I literally had to buy a mop just for all her little oops-pissy moments I've had to cleanup. But I could definitely assure you this- WE HAVE COME A LONG WAY from week 1! Glitter is beginning to get used to her walking and eating schedule, loves leash walks, and does not wet her bed! You go mama! (If this were life, I'd so be saying that to her.)

Glitter On-The-Go!

Because mommy is always on-the-go, it's important to me to have her with me every step of the way, as long as she is allowed to be by my side. She is now my best bud, so it's only fair she sees the world outside of my condo walls. Since becoming Glitter's mommy, I have accustomed her to understand the concept of "Let's go Bye Bye!" I place her bag on the floor and open the zipper flap for her to enter. Once I say the magic words, she hops right inside her doggy bag with a big smile on her fluffy face and her tail vigorously wagging of happiness. She loves car rides and is very quite and well-behaved everywhere we go. So far, Glitter has came with me to the House of Drums, The Phoenix Hour Podcast, Body-Painting Session, MY JOB, and we already had our first photoshoot. (Hence, the amazing photography by Miami's finest Rod Deal!) She's also come with mommy to Wal-Mart, PetSmart, Marshalls, Five Below, Dollar Tree. Over Thanksgiving break, she met her grandparents, uncles, aunts, and cousins. So yeah, she's pretty well-rounded. She is so loved by all who come across her and her friendly spirit. Her lovable nature and adorn for affection, make her a great asset, because I too am so friendly. So off we go Glitter...EVERYWHERE....TOGETHER! For a dog, the world has so many smells and places to explore! So let's explore them mama!

Helping me become a better ME!

As aforementioned, dogs are a huge responsibility. But with that responsibility comes a great deal of changes and lifestyle adjustments. Having Glitter in my life allows me to be more active, come home more often, keep my home tidier, forces me to do laundry more frequently, reminds me the importance of drinking lots of water, and more importantly teaches me how to be selfless. Though we are two different mammals, her attention to my every move and loyalty to my presence gives me a feeling that is hard to describe. I mean, it's amazing how dogs can think, act, and feel like humans based off simply emotional intelligence and habitual patterns. Animals overall are amazing, but having a puppy brings that reality to a whole new light.